All done

I have been waiting three years to post this and write about the last three years I have had. David is all done with submarines. I cant tell you how thrilled I am about this. I want to write down the good times and the bad times we had while David was gone. I want to look back on all this and say I can do it. I can do hard things.

Simple facts:

Davids first trip was the summer of July 2005.

The longest I didn't hear from him at one time was 42 days.

He visited some cool places, Japan, Guam, Singapore, the Philippines.

The longest he was gone at one time was 4 months.

His last trip was in august of 2010 and lasted until November of 2010.

The longest he was home in between trips was 6 weeks.

Out of1095 days in three years he was gone about 700 of those.

He missed Dawson's 1 and 2 birthday, Brooklyn's 6 and 7 birthday and two Christmas's.

I was fortunate to go visit Utah three of the times he was gone. Before Brooklyn started school.

Things I conquered while he was gone;

Taking the kids camping with our ward twice by myself

traveling on an airplane three times just me and the kids

trying the MAC flights

my fear of killing cockroaches

Mowing the backyard

Taking the garbage can out every Monday and bringing it in every night

Keeping the kids quiet in sacrament meeting

Oil changes and other car maintenance

Just a little snip it of what I think about the last three years

When David first started subs I had no idea what to expect. I was so full of positive gusto and guilt when he first left. I felt guilty the kids didn't have there dad around. I had guilt that I wasn't going to do a good job. I had guilt anytime the kids cried for any reason. I had guilt thinking that I could call my mom, sisters and friends when I was having a bad day. The first day David left I remember so vividly. He gave us all blessings we took him to the airport then got the kids panda express since that is their favorite. Came home put a movie on for the kids, went upstairs and balled my eyes out and called my mom. I felt like I had a huge mountain in front of me and I had no idea how to tackle it.
I tried to wake up each day with so much gusto to just relax about the little house stuff and just go have fun all day everyday. It was a fun summer. M friend Ashely came out to see us. It was so much fun. This was the first time I took the kids camping for our ward camp. My friend chantel was husband less to so we helped each other out. I have to say it was very empowering and awesome to do it. Everything was still so fresh and new I still felt a little overwhelmed but we did our best.

As the next trips came and went we got into a groove. I realized what it was like to not hear from him. Every time I got an email I think I called my mom and told everyone. I cherished those emails that I got. Obviously you don't have the best communication when they are in a sub under water. The first charisma's we spent apart I was in Utah because I was not that strong to do the holidays by myself. The second christmas apart we stayed here. That is one holiday I wont forget. It was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. I have always had a great group of friends here and a great support system but it was still the hardest thing I have had to do. On the other hand I have a whole new appreciation for the reason we have Christmas. I have had to ask for help and take huge step out of my comfort zone. There are definitely days that I wont forget and here are days were I was is tried and grumpy I wish I could forget because I was so tired and grumpy. there were alot of proud days were I was happy for how things were going. There are distinctive days I remember were when I was at the end of my limit a friend would stop by, someone would call, or something would happen to turn things around. I was in good hands while David was gone.

Every time David was gone Landon went through something. He wold throw up at night for the first week, one time he got cold sores on his gums, he got a rash all over once, poor kid is so sensitive and internalizes things differently. All the kids were great through it all. I often think that they helped me more then I helped them through it all. When they are all I had and I was all they had it brought a new approach to things.

David is the greatest. I hated being apart from him. It made me very humble how he had things set up for us while he was gone. I grew a deeper apprecaiton for him and all that he does for us.

I am glad for all that I learned, thee trials and the good times we had while David was gone. I am even more glad to be all done.