Reflection

I have had some time to reflect on some things lately. David has been gone about two weeks now. Usually it takes a few days to get back into the routine of things but for some reason this time it has taken me allot longer. The kids have been fabulous so I cant complain there. They have made me smile and laugh so much lately.

I have been thinking that in the next few years there will be more changes that are made. We will hopefully be making our way back to Utah. This mean a whole new transition for us as a life.New job for David, new environment for everyone. New school for the kids and new friends. As excited as I am it will be sad to leave the life we have had in the military. (no this is not happening anytime soon any were from 1 year-4years from now) The friends we have made have been incredible. With the moving around I have really found out what and who a true friend is. With that comes the down side of friends always leaving. I have a really good friend who is set to move here in June. It just kills me every time I see a good friend leaves not only for me but for the whole family. This is a friend were the wife's are close the husbands do stuff together and the kids play.

I don't think that I would have such a strong hold in the church if it weren't for were we are now. I have always enjoyed church and have followed the church but I have had an eye opener being in different wards. I have really had to see what certain things mean to me being out of a "Utah ward". I have learned that no matter what state I live in there is always a group of friends waiting for me.We have such an amazing ward family up here in the wahiawa third ward. They are great people.

I don't think i would have my kids right now if it weren't for the military and the benefits we have. I am truly blessed and grateful to have not had the burden of financially having a baby. I was able to have my kids close and get it over with which was important to me. I don't know who I would be with out them. Each one just holds a different part of me. I could go on and on about all of them. I have learned so much from them. They help me through these times more then they know. They always know how to make me smile. They are such great kids. I hope I can return to them how much they give to me.

I have lived some neat places. Monterrey California and Hawaii I cant complain. The places we have lived have been amazing. Such neat places with so many opportunities for us in each of them.

Now I know this may sound like I am packing up the house and leaving soon but like I said we aren't. Every time David goes I see that this is not how we want our life to be so it is even more apparent to me that this is not what our life is going to be like. When he is gone it is like there is a neon flashing sign saying just get through this this will all be over soon.

David is so great. He is a wonderful provider for us. He loves me more then I can say. He is always treating me with the up most respect. He sees me in a way that I hope to one day see myself. He is so selfless, he is helpful, he is kind. he is good looking, he gives me a sense of security, he knows me so well, he is righteous, he is patient with me, he is always there for me, he knows how to make me laugh, he knows when I have had a bad day before I say anything, he is so fun to be around, he is a great father, he is always taking every opportunity to teach the kids, he loves his kids, he is always spending time with them, he is great to see when I need a break, he is so patient with them, he is very understanding, he is simple, he enjoys the small things, he is a great husband, he puts me and the kids first.

I am really not sure were all of this is coming from. I guess I just wanted to document some things that I have been feeling lately. It has been a struggle these last two weeks but I know that we will get through this one and be ready for the next one. I am glad that I can say not to many sub trips left.

What all this comes down to i think is even though this is a little struggle I ma having right now I have just listed a whole bunch of blessings I have gotten from it. I am blessed right now to be were I am and to be experiencing the things that I am. This makes me love this man more and more.